Reviews by Matt

I have a special list planned for the end of the year, so by the rules I set down for myself, this review must be written.

Sometimes when I see a trailer I know exactly what to expect. I can tell you if a movie is going to be awesome or if it is going to be a complete waste of time. What I first saw the trailer for “G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra,” I knew from the moment the trailer ended that the movie was going to be really bad. What I could not have anticipated was how much I would actually enjoy it for all its faults: and there are many.

What there is of a plot looks like this: when a weapons maker creates weapon that would destroy the world leaving humanity at his mercy, a group of elite soldiers set out to stop him before he can go through with his plan.

Let’s start with the special effects used in this movie. They are complete crap. In a world where robots that transform into cars can look real, these special effects are way behind the times. It is clear every time something was done on a computer. The transformation from real actor to computer simulation is so jarring, but, to be honest, I could not have cared less (more on that later).

Secondly, the writing was so bad and so clichéd. Attempts to put in subtle clues that will pay of later are so obvious that it spoils some of the “surprises.” The only response you can give to the clichéd nature of the lines is a groan and a headshake. It is so bad that I cannot believe how these groan worthy lines appear so often into the movie. Yet, I did not care (more to come).

I hate to say it and every movie nerd bone in my body tells me not to say it but, I actually like this movie. It was just fun to watch. I was able to ignore all the bad and enjoy what was on screen. The action scenes, though filled with bad effects, were enjoyable. So much is happening and so much stuff is blowing up that it is easy to ignore the bad and accept it for what it is.

The same can be said for the writing. Though bad, it is punctuated with those action scenes. The formula for the movie looks like this: action, plot points, action scene, plot point, flashback action scene, plot point, flashback with no action, action scene…ect. You get the point. There is very little time to dwell on the awfulness of the dialogue before an action scene pops up.

So the whole point of this is so that I can put it on a new list I am writing for the end of the year. This year, in addition to the top 10 list, I will write a bottom 5 list. I can tell you know that this is no. 5 on that list, meaning it is the best of the worst. It takes this honor because while it is not a good movie, it is fun to watch and is a good way to kill 2 hours.


7 out of 10
Rated PG-13 for strong sequences of action violence and mayhem throughout.
118 min