Reviews by Matt

This past Sunday the Academy for Motion Picture Arts and Sciences handed out their highest honor; The Oscar.

The Academy Awards celebration is known for going on for hours and ending after midnight. This year had to be the shortest awards ceremony in history; a mere three hours and 18 minuets. Going on the excessive length of the ceremony, The following is a run down of what happened and when it happened.

8:30; The Oscars started with an opening montage of a truck carrying the statues passing classic scenes and characters from the past 80 years.

8:32; Jon Stewart came out and gave his opening monologue. Most of it focused on the end of the writers strike. He said the Oscars were the make-up sex for the industry. He noted the many of the movies were about psychopathic killers-“Does this town need a hug?”

8:41; Stewart ended his monologue and introduced the first presenter.

8:42; Jennifer Gardner came out to present the first award-Best Costume Design went to “Elizabeth: The Golden Age.”

8:52; Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway came out. They did a bit where Carell seemed to think they were presenting for Best Documentary only to be told they were presenting Best Animated Feature That goes to “Ratatouille.” If “Surf’s Up” had won, I would have run to Hollywood and punched every member of the Academy in the face.

8:55; The world held its breath as “Norbit” was announced as one of the nominees for best make up. There was a collective sigh of relief when Katherine Heigl gave the award to “La Vie En Rose”

8:59; First of five best song performances, Amy Adams sang “Happy Working Song” from “Enchanted”

9:07; The actor formally known as The Rock presented Best Visual Effects. The Oscar went to “The Golden Compass.” Say what you will about the story and dialogue in “Transformers,” but the visual effects in that movie were simply amazing and deserved the win.

9:10; Cate Blanchett presented the art direction Oscar to “Sweeney Todd.”

9:15; Last year’s best supporting actress, Jennifer Hudson, presented the Best Supporting Actor award to Javier Bardem form “No Country for Old Men” Bardem ends his acceptance speech in Spanish. What he said was not covered in my high school Spanish classes, so I could not tell you. He did mention his mother though.

9:23; Stewart showed what would have happened if the strike was still going on with the tributes to binoculars and periscopes in movies and tribute to bad dreams in movies.

9:24; The second of five best song performance was “Raise It Up” from “August Rush” featuring the amazing 11-year-old Jamia Simone Nash.

9:28; Suicide attempt rumors be dammed, Owen Wilson showed up to present the Oscar for Best Live Action Short to “The Mozart of Pickpockets.”

9:31; I did my best to contain my self when they pulled out the old “animated presenter” with the bee from “Bee Movie.” This is a lame gimmick that has to be stopped. Especially when it the movie was not that good. The Oscar for Best Animated Short went to “Peter and the Wolf”

9:35; 2007’s best Supporting Actor winner, Alan Arkin, presented the Best Supporting Actress award to Tilda Swinton who compares her agent to the Oscar, “right down to the bottom” This win was truly a surprise. There were some great choices and there were some better choices in this category, but I am still happy she won.

9:44; A slightly “Preggers” Jessica Alba came out to recap the Academy Scientific and Technical Awards. Even Alba’s looks could not make me care about this little segment.

9:46: Josh Brolin and James MacAvoy presented the Best Adapted Screenplay to “No Country for Old Men”

9:49; We got a look as to how the Oscars are picked. Unfortunately, you have to be invited to join the Academy, so looks like my chances are slim.

9:52; Kristen Chenoweth brought down the house with her performance of the third of five song nominations, “That’s How You Know” form “Enchanted”

10:01 We are lead to believe that Judi Dench and Halle Berry are coming to present and are greeted with Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill who argue over who is more “Halle Berry-like.” They presented best sound editing to “The Bourne Ultimatum” Now I get to say the Oscar-winning “The Bourne Ultimatum”

10:05 Hill and Rogan continue to argue and present best sound mixing to the now multi-Oscar winning movie “The Bourne Ultimatum”

10:09; Last year’s Best Actor, Forrest Whitaker, gave the Best Actress Oscar to Marion Cotillard.

10:18; Stewart plays Wii Tennis with Jamia Simone Nash of August Rush. Colin Ferrell comes out, almost slips and introduces the fourth song nominated, “Falling Slowly” from “Once”

10:22; A video tribute to the past 79 best picture winners.

10:28; Renee Zelwigger gives the editing Oscar to the now three-time Oscar winning film (when you win three Oscars you go from movie to film) “The Bourne Ultimatum.” That was the first and only sweep of the night.

10:31; Nichole Kidman gave an honorary Oscar to Art Director Robert Boyle.

10:42; Penelope Cruz presents Best Foreign Language film to “The Counterfeiters”

10:45; The final song, “So Close,” also from “Enchanted”

10:48; The odds were not in favor of “Enchanted” because Best Song goes to the song from “Once” Only Glen Hansard got to speak, Markéta Irglová got cut off.

10:57 The award for classiest move of the night goes to Jon Stewart who let Markéta Irglová come out and say what she wanted to say.

10:58 Carmon Daiz presented the Best Cinematography Oscar to “There Will Be Blood”

11:01 Hillary Swank introduces the video tribute for all those who died this past year. As was expected Heath Ledger was last and got the loudest applause.

11:08; Amy Adams presented original score to “Atonement”

11:11 Tom Hanks gave the best documentary awards Short subject goes to “Freeheld” Feature went to “Taxi to the Dark Side”

11:22; My first yawn of the night and I started to wonder if I was going to make it to the end.

11:23; Harrison Ford came out to the Indiana Jones theme and presented the Best Original Screenplay to “Juno” At least “Juno” won one Oscar, this was the only one I gave it a chance of winning. Diablo Cody comes up to accept looking like a Flintstones character.

11:30; In the shock of the night (by the way that was dripping with sarcasm) Daniel Day-Lewis won the Best Actor. When he got on stage he got down on one knee and was knighted by presenter, and last year’s Best Actress winner for “The Queen” Helen Mirren

11:42; Scorsese presented Best Director to the Coen Brothers for “No County for Old Men”

11:43; We got some Channel 7 behind the scenes audio piped in where someone says something about “Oscar bullshit” and someone else does not know what “No County for Old Men” was about.

11:44; Denzel Washington presented the pen-ultimate award, Best Picture to “No County for Old Men”

11:48; Three hours and 18 minutes later, it is over.