Reviews by Matt

The DVR is the best invention ever. On Sunday night I found myself in a tough spot. I had not seen a movie to review yet and I felt that I should do something with the Grammys for the paper.

So when I returned from seeing the movie (see review on other page), I grabbed my laptop, sat on the couch in the living room, fired up the DVR and began taking notes. I could do a recap, but not only is that boring to read, but boring to write. What you see below is, in essence, an organized stream of consciousness. So if you have ever found yourself thinking, “I wonder what Matt thinks?” here is you chance.

The show opened with Alicia Keys singing a duet with Frank Sinatra then she gave some spiel about it being the 50th Anniversary of the Grammys.

Carrie Underwood was the first performance of the night. She performed with what I figure was the cast of “Stomp” prancing around and banging on items in a junkyard set. I do not know if they were going for the “white trash” imagery, but that is what they got. The last full season of American Idol I watched was season one, (wow, I cannot believe I just admitted that), so I was impressed with Underwood having not followed her career besides knowing that she dated Tony Romo.

The first award of the night was Best R& B performance. It went to Alicia Keys for “No One”

The Time sang “Jungle Love” and Rihanna came out and sung “Umbrella” Complete with dancers opening umbrellas, I guess that means they get seven years of bad luck.

Tom Hanks came out for the lifetime achievement award for The Band and a tribute to The Beatles (only Ringo and Yoko were in attendance) with Cirque Di Sole, which, by the way is so much cooler when in fast-forward.


Miley Cirus and Cindy Lauper, who may have been intoxicated because she had trouble forming a coherent sentence came and presented the Best New Artist award to Amy Winehouse, who was not in attendance, but more on her later.

Then the Grammys turned into American Idol when Jason Batemen told the audience to text their vote for one of the three finalists in the My Grammy Moment contest.

Kanye came out wearing a lighted coat and glasses and sang. I think Kanye might have a tail; something was swinging out from his coat during the whole time. The highlight was the two “Tron” characters playing computer screen piano

Fergie and John Legend preformed and presented. I was impressed that Stacy Ferguson can actually sing. The best soundtrack went to “Love”

Cher came out all I have to say about that is: Botox does wonders.

Beyonce did a little def poetry jam/ dance party tribute to famous female singers before singing with Tina Turner

There was a tribute to Bert Backarack who also received a lifetime achievement award.

The winner of American Idol…I mean My Grammy Moment is…well you don’t care and neither do I. Then they performed with the Foo Fighters.

Then George Lopez came on screen and my finger instinctively went to the fast forward button. Then I realized he had introduced Brad Paisley. Nope, still not a fan of country.

The best rap album went to Kanye and his oversized glasses.

Ludacris presented the lifetime achievement award to Cab Calloway. It took way to long for a performer like Calloway to win that

Feist preformed that song from the iPod commercial, you know…“1 2 3 4 Tell me that you love me more”. Yeah, the one that was stuck in your head for months.

Best Rock album went to the Foo Fighters

Alicia Keys preformed again, great voice and performer, but I don’t care anymore, GO GO GADGET DVR!!!

Look kids it is John Mayer.

Ringo came out and talked, I wanted to tell him that no one cares what he has to say. Just present the damn award: which was best county album and that went to Vince Gill

Itzhak Perlman and Max Roch got lifetime achievement awards.

Then George Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue was performed by Lang Lang and Herbie Hancock. These guys are real talent, not like most of the crap on the radio.

A Mexican “Colin Ferrell” (did not catch his name and too lazy to rewind) and Taylor Swift presented the Rap Collaboration to Umbrella.” I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. It is harder to translate sarcasm in writing then you think. I mean wit and humor is one thing, but this is a whole different beast.

As punishment for “Daddy Day Camp” Cuba Gooding Jr. was only allowed to attend the event by satellite in London

Amy Winehouse took a break from rehab to perform. I still don’t see what all the fuss is about her, there are much better singers at an American Idol reject party. She actually sang the rehab song, which to me is kind of contradictory now.

Tony Bennett and Nat Cole came out for Doris Day’s lifetime achievement award and Bennett had real trouble reading the cue cards.

The record of the year went to Amy Whinehouse, who, I do not think she knew the camera was on her. When she finally went to the microphone she was either drunk off her ass or is the worst public speaker ever.

Some boring stuff about the academy. DVR won again, fast forward it is.

Then came slide show of people who died? I don’t know for sure, they never explained, but some are dead, so it is a safe assumption.

During the Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis performance I find out that there is a wind chill advisory and seriously debate walking to school the following morning.

Then there was a moment of pure happiness. Not in the ceremony, but for me because I checked and there are only 10 minuets left according to the DVR.

Will. i. am. came and sang a lot of different songs and I was not sure why

Usher and Quincy Jones presented the coveted album of the year award. Usher makes fun of Kanye by saying “there are no losers in this category” before giving it to Herbie Hancock

Then the DVR cuts off so I do not even get to see a speech I actually wanted to see, but at least it is over